Trust

Yesterday I learned that I friend had lied to me in some major ways. I used to be very close to this person and for a long time thought that there was no one I would trust more. This was not, however, the first lie, thought it might have been the biggest and it really hurt. I thought at a certain point being lied to stops hurting, but I have not reached that point. All I could do for a while was pray Hail Marys and sing the "Ubi Charitas" (it know it with a very elegiac melody which fit my mood while the words were encouraging to bring me from the funk).

O God, let my heart break for sin
And not just that which I let in
But that which from others go
The burden all have come to know.

Let my soul and being cry out
Beyond all the specter of doubt
To mourn and strongly weep
That all souls your trusting keep.

And may my wound long endure
So that I in time would be sure
That sin is death and darkest doom
That fades all flower and ruins bloom.

May they learn, who in sin but die
And die again in the unfather’s lie,
To come up and die now with you
Who is but light and death most true.


I believe one of the worst things we can do is lie to each other. While the big lies are painful and quickly destroy a friendship from the inside out, the small lies are often more damaging in the broad scope. I have suffered both, and while it were the big lies that killed friendships, the small lies have made my life the most difficult.

One of my closest friends for a couple of years had problems with small lies. They were simple things, not doing something which was promised, or telling two versions of the same story to make everyone happy, and I hardly noticed them. Only later, after talking with my mom about it, did I realize how often I was lied to and how used to it I was. It reached the point where I could not trust anything I was told by this person and had to call to validate whether or not something was actually going to happen. This then translated into further friendships. I still have a tendency to assume people I meet will not be trustworthy in the little things and I expect them to fail to uphold their obligations.

So often we miss the power of the small things. When Christ told us he who is trustworthy in the little things will be given bigger, this is in many ways what he was referring to. If you cannot tell the truth in little things, then no one will look to you in the big things and you will have no effect on the world. When all else falls to pieces, do not lie, and it can be rebuilt.